Laying the Dead
by Jaelle
Summary: Zelgadis tries to put his past behind him, but isn't having much luck. So the past comes back to try and help him out a bit.
1. Laying the Dead Part One

Laying the Dead  
by Jaelle  
***  
  
A Slayers Fanfic  
  
***  
  
The characters herein are not mine, do not belong to me and I am making no money whatsoever off of this. No infringement on copyright is intended by this fanfic. Kay?  
  
***  
  
PART ONE:  
  
***  
  
Zelgadis Greywers huffed and puffed his way up the hill. His feet hurt abominably and there was an incredible ache in the small of his back. The bottom of his cloak was coated in mud and his face mask was covered with dust from the road but his pace did not slow or slacken as he trudged over the hill to the ruins of old Sairaag.  
  
It had been a long trip. There had been no ships available so he'd had to _walk_ the entire way from Seyruun. Not that he minded walking, it gave him time to think. It was just that he was used to travelling _light_ and it hadn't occured to him to hire a pack animal until he was well and truly on his way, and then it was simply a matter of pride not to. Zelgadis sighed and cursed Xelloss again.  
  
Xelloss wasn't actually _involved_ in this in any way, shape or form, Zelgadis just liked cursing him. It made him feel better.  
  
So it had now been two weeks since he'd left Seyruun, Zelgadis reflected. But it still felt like yesterday.   
  
It had been over eight years since he'd last been in Sairaag - facing Hellmaster Fibrizo. Then there had been that whole mess with Valgaav and the world outside the barrier. Then... nothing. After that the group had spread out with himself, Lina, Gourry, Amelia, Firia, and occasionally Sylphiel and Xelloss (curse him curse him curse him) wandering around the world in their normal way, following up on various clues for a cure (himself), beating up various bandits and robbing them (Lina), defending justice (Amelia), using the group for personal and evil ends (Xelloss), using the group for personal and noble ends (Firia), following the ones they loved (Sylphiel) and just cluelessly wandering along (Gourry) when suddenly something had occured to make them all immediately drop their current quest and head back to Seyruun at top speed.  
  
An enchanted bird had arrived by their campsite one evening, telling Amelia urgently to return home.  
  
They had gotten back just in time. Zelgadis' eyes shadowed as he remembered the way the little princess - now not so little - had wailed over her fathers bedside as Crown Prince Philionel had closed his eyes and breathed his last, finally giving in to his wounds.   
  
Zel felt a slight pang. Phil hadn't been such a bad guy really, and at least he'd gone out the way he'd wanted - defending justice and his realm from the encroachments of evil.   
  
Afterwards, Amelia had just fallen apart. In the end, the task of comforting her had fallen mostly to him - Lina and the others being occupied with the task of hunting down the rest of the Mazoku gang who had invaded Seyruun and healing those wounded in the subsequent attacks. Xelloss (curse him dammit!), showing a tact Zelgadis hadn't even been aware that he had, had disappeared again around this time.   
  
Zelgadis had spent many hours cradling the sobbing princess in his arms as she mourned her father, and even he, the "heartless, mystical" one, had been touched by her sorrow, and love for her father. But nothing had prepared him for the aftermath of the invasion. Once justice had triumphed, the citizenry of Seyruun turned out en masse to mourn their fallen prince.   
  
Zelgadis had been amazed at the number of monuments and memorials set up in Philionel's name. Seyruun was now guarded at the central gates by a gigantic pair of statues of the Pacifist Prince, and so many streets, avenues, gardens and roads had been named after him that future cartographers were going to find the streets of Seyruun somewhat dull to map. Not to mention horribly confusing. There had already been three Philionel Avenues when he'd left - one leading to the wharfs, one to a private housing area, and one to a red-light district. Zel privately suspected that the tourist trade in Seyruun was about to get a lot more interesting.  
  
After a short mourning period, Amelia had emerged to announce that she had accepted her ascendance to the throne, and to make a short speech.  
  
"I swear, in the name of justice, to follow the path my father made for Seyruun! To worship truth, justice, and the way of peace! For all of us... for your children, for my children..."  
  
There had been a number of unsubtle glances in Zelgadis' direction at this point in the speech, but he'd ignored them all.  
  
"For all the children! For all the people!" Amelia's voice had throbbed with emotion. "Justice will prevail!"  
  
Rapturous applause had greeted this speech and Amelia had turned away to prepare for her coronation and her new life. Which is where he had left her, left all of them. Lina had just nodded when he told her he was leaving, Amelia had asked why, and then offered him supplies. The others had just looked confused. He didn't blame them, this was somewhat out of character for him.   
  
The outpouring of emotion for a beloved lost leader and treasured family member had surprised and touched him, and touched something else as well. Zelgadis had always considered himself apart from the world, separated from the rest of the human race by his curse. In a way, not really human at all. However, everything he'd seen in Seyruun had made him uncomfortably aware of one part of his human life that he'd been ignoring for many years now - his family.  
  
Not that he HAD any left of course. Both his parents had died when he was young, and he'd never had any siblings. Then there was... yeah, well. As for close friends, well, his friends now were comprised of the Slayers gang, but before them he'd had two very close friends. Three really, but he'd fallen out with her a long time ago. Still... it _had_ been a long time ago. And there had been good times too... sometimes. And then they'd died and he'd just walked away without a backward glance. And now that he actually thought about them all, he felt kind of bad about it. Still mad in a couple of cases, but...  
  
*I guess time _does_ heal wounds*, he grudgingly conceded.  
  
All of which was why he was currently trudging into the ruins of old Sairaag, carrying a huge obsidian headstone with the names "Rodimus and Zolf - Loyal Friends" carved into it, as well as a much smaller plain stone plaque on which the names "Rezo" and "Eris" were carved. There was also a small seedling, which he was planning to plant at the former site of the holy tree Flagoon, to commemorate Kopii-Rezo.   
  
"This is stupid," Zelgadis snarled. "I must be an idiot to be doing this." He paused just as he reached the top of the hill. "I should just..." his voice trailed off as he saw over the top. Picking up the pace, he jogged down to the bottom of the other side. At the base of the hill, on the border between the ruins of old Sairaag and the ruins of the more recent Sairaag, was a huge obelisk. On it were carved names. Many many many names. Zelgadis walked around the huge monument, occasionally tracing a name or sounding one out. The monument was surrounded by blooming rose bushes in various colours.   
  
Finally Zelgadis found a name he recognised. It was the only one which had been adorned with something other than a birth date and death date. This one had the additional word - Father - after it. He paused a moment longer and then continued on his way, his step firmer. There was one other notable thing about the obelisk - all of the dates of death were the same.   
  
*Poor Sylphiel,* Zelgadis thought. There was no doubt in his mind as to who had arranged this memorial. *Poor, poor girl.*  
  
He walked deeper into the ruins of old Sairaag.  
  
***  
  
Zelgadis wiped the sweat from his brow as he finished settling the obsidian headstone in place. It was situated just in front of what remained of the entrance to Rezo's   
laboratory. Stretching up and bending back to relieve some of the pain in his lower back he took a few quick breaths before casting the spells that would settle the headstone firmly into the ground and protect it from weathering. He realised, looking up, that he was going to have to set up camp by it - it was now much too late to move elsewhere.  
  
"What a pain this is," he snarled. "If I had known how much trouble this was going to be, I'd... I'd... I'd have started earlier!" He put his hands on his hips and regarded the headstone, then sighed and went down onto one knee.  
  
"Hello guys, Zolf and Rodimus, long time no see. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to put up a proper memorial. I have no excuse really, but I hope you like this one. Uhmmmm..."   
  
Zel stared at the headstone.   
  
"I'm not really very good at this stuff, so I'll just finish up by saying that you two were some of the best friends I've ever had, and that I never appreciated you enough, and thanks for helping out with everything and following me through thick and thin and even after I joined up with Lina Inverse, which you'd think would be enough to put any sane person off." Zel paused for breath, then stood up and brushed the dirt off his knee.  
  
"That's all really. I hope that wherever you are, you're happy. Thank you." Gruffly, Zel turned away and started to set up camp behind some trees.  
  
***  
  
Zel yawned and stirred his pot of soup over the fire to keep it evenly warmed. Trail cooking wasn't his speciality, but it was much easier when he didn't have Lina and Gourry breathing down his neck. And any idiot could warm things up.  
  
He yawned again as the wind whistled through the trees.  
  
"Master Zelgadis."  
  
Zel snapped to his feet and drew his sword in one fluid motion. "Who's out there?" he demanded. "Show yourself!"  
  
There was a whisper of movement and then a soft, "Calm yourself Master Zelgadis, I am of no threat to you."  
  
Zelgadis snorted, "That remains to be seen." He strained his ears, trying to work out the source of the voice. How could whoever it was have snuck up on him? He was normally much better at picking people's presense up than that. The voice sounded vaguely familiar, and it knew his name, so he must have met...  
  
His face paled as two forms stepped out into the light of the fire. His knees trembled and his sword dropped at his feet.  
  
"I... It can't be!" he stammered.  
  
"Master Zelgadis." Zolf sighed.  
  
"We're so happy to see you again," said Rodimus.  
  
Zelgadis couldn't seem to stop the shaking that ran through his entire body. "But you're..."  
  
"Dead, yes." said Zolf. "Very much so."  
  
"But we wanted to talk to you again Master Zelgadis," Rodimus explained. "It's been so long since you even thought of us."  
  
Zelgadis felt a guilty flush come to his cheeks.  
  
"We don't blame you Master Zelgadis," Zolf said immediately. "In fact, we're content in knowing that you've been happy enough not to dwell on the past."  
  
Zelgadis thought about his obsessive search for a cure and winced.   
  
Rodimus smiled. "Don't worry Master Zelgadis, we understand."  
  
Zel slowly sat down, picked up and resheathed his sword. "Then, you're not here to haunt me?" he asked, feeling unaccountably embarrassed.  
  
"No," Rodimus said, sitting down also. Zolf seated himself by his side. "We've felt your anguish these last few days, the sorrow at our passing. We've hoped for years that you'd come back here to try and sort through things. Back to where it all began."  
  
Zelgadis looked down and remembered.  
  
***  
  
"Master Zelgadis, are you sure about this?" Rodimus asked, as they walked through the trees to the place they knew was near, a hint of desperation in his voice. "This is the man who... who..."  
  
Zelgadis whirled and ripped the mask from his face, revealing his hated visage. "The man who transformed me into a chimera? Yes, I know. But I _have_ to get a cure. I HAVE to get HIM to cure me," his hands trembled in rage. "I need him to cure me... or to get into his lab and find a cure myself. And to achieve either of these objectives I must... must..."  
  
"Zelgadis, a pleasant surprise. Why are you here?" Soft mocking laughter.  
  
The pupils of Zelgadis' eyes narrowed. He turned to face his nemesis.  
  
"I have come here," he said softly, calmly, as Zolf swore beneath his breath and Rodimus looked away. "To serve you..."  
  
"To serve me?"  
  
"Yes, to serve you..." his teeth ground out, "Master."  
  
Rezo, the Red Priest smiled at him.  
  
***  
  
Zelgadis looked away, his breath hissing out. "I never did get into his lab back then. He didn't trust me enough to let me into his storehouse of secrets."  
  
Rodimus and Zolf looked at him sympathetically as he flexed his hands, opening and closing his fists.   
  
"Damn it all!" he burst out, punching the ground in front of him. "What right did he have to do this to me??? What right??? How DARE he!!"  
  
They both watched as Zel reasserted his hard-won control and looked at them, and their eyes sorrowed as he pushed the grief in his eyes away, subduing it and locking it back up in the depths of his heart.  
  
They stood. Zel started and looked at them. "You're not leaving already!" he said in surprise. "You just got here!" He stood to match them.  
  
"We left many years ago Master Zelgadis," Zolf reminded him. "We merely came to try and exorcise some of your pain - but that was never directed at us."  
  
"We don't blame you," said Rodimus suddenly. "Not for our deaths. We never blamed you for that."  
  
Zel flushed. "I don't deserve your kindness," he muttered.   
  
"Try to be happy in your life Master Zelgadis," said Rodimus. "You have strong and loyal friends now, who care about you, even when you do not. Remember that, when the others come."  
  
Zel felt a wave of horror engulf him. "Others?" he said thickly.  
  
Zolf and Rodimus looked at him, bowed, and left.  
  
"Farewell Master Zelgadis..." they whispered.  
  
Zel stared into the night in stark terror. "I wonder if it's too late to run away."  
  
"Yes, it is."  
  
Slowly, he turned around. Rezo regarded him out of slitted eyes, one golden, the other purple.  
  
***  
  
To Be Continued... 


	2. Laying the Dead Part Two

Laying the Dead  
by Jaelle  
***  
  
A Slayers Fanfic  
  
***  
  
The characters herein are not mine, do not belong to me and I am making no money whatsoever off of this. No infringement on copyright is intended by this fanfic. Kay?  
  
  
***  
  
PART TWO:  
  
***  
  
"You!" Zelgadis flinched back. "I... you... wait..." He stared at Rezo's eyes. "Kopii Rezo?"  
  
"Hello again Zelgadis."  
  
Zel sat down suddenly. "Oh good grief, don't DO that to me. My heart nearly stopped. I thought you were really HIM." He grabbed a bowl and started spooning soup into it.  
  
"Well, I am a very good copy," Kopii Rezo gracefully sank down to sit opposite Zelgadis. "After all, didn't I nearly surpass the original?"  
  
"You were certainly nearly as big a pain in the rear as he was," Zel muttered. "More in a way."  
  
"Thank you," Kopii said honestly.   
  
"I thought you were more or less over that whole 'surpass the original' thing now," Zel said, drinking his soup. "Want some?"  
  
"Ah, no thank you," Kopii smiled at Zelgadis. "The dead don't really need food. I'm glad to see you're not holding any grudges."  
  
"Hey, we fought, you died, the end." Zel shrugged. "I might as well hold grudges against Gaav or that annoying fishman."  
  
"And yet you continue to hold a grudge against HIM," Kopii mused.  
  
Zelgadis choked slightly. "That's _different," he protested. "He ruined my life!"  
  
"And you ended his, surely that's enough."  
  
Zelgadis' eyes darkened. "No. It will never be enough."  
  
Kopii sighed. "There really wasn't much point for me to come here, we don't have the history that others do. But I did want to thank you for remembering me. So few do."  
  
Zel looked away. "Let's just say I understand your feelings."  
  
Kopii smiled as he began to fade away. "I know you do. I used to wonder sometimes, which of us really hated him the most? At first I thought we hated him equally but for different reasons. Then I realised that in fact we hated him equally for exactly the same reason. Because he dominated our lives, because we lived in his shadow... because he made us what we are. Both of us suffer from being his copies."  
  
"I am NOT like HIM!" Zelgadis exploded. "I am my own person!"  
  
"Then why are you still so angry with him?" Another voice asked.  
  
Zelgadis refused to look as another figure made its way to his side, and sat next to him.  
  
"Hello Zelgadis."  
  
"Hello..." A sweatdrop trickled down his face as he kept his eyes turned away.  
  
"Oh dear, don't tell me you still can't say my name?"  
  
***  
  
"Back already Zelgadis?" HIS voice. Mocking him as always.  
  
"Yes Master, I have brought the items you required."  
  
"Excellent work," Rezo scooped the proffered gems out of his hands. "Such strong magic amulets. Very good indeed. You are truly one of my most strong and loyal servants."  
  
Zelgadis snarled behind his mask.  
  
"Rest here at the mansion for a few days. Then I will have another assignment for you."  
  
Zelgadis kept his head bowed as Rezo walked away. Once the ringing sounds of his staff had died away, he stood up from his kneeling position and looked around. It was an opulent mansion, like all of Rezo's properties. Probably filled with all sorts of "fun" traps for the unsuspecting too. Huh.  
  
"Welcome Zelgadis," a voice from the stairway behind him. Surprised, he turned around and stared. A beautiful young woman was watching him. She had short dark hair and dark eyes. She was wearing robes of flowing white, which did nothing to hide her figure. He could only watch as she approached him and put her hand up to his face. Before he could flinch away she yanked his face mask down, revealing his transformed features.  
  
"Hmmm... a truly remarkable job." She said. Zelgadis continued to stare at her. Why didn't she run away or turn away in horror? "Only to be expected of Lord Rezo himself."  
  
Zelgadis finally recovered and turned away, putting up a hand to hide his face from view. "Stop that! Don't look at me as though I'm some kind of specimen!"  
  
"Why are you turning away?" The girl asked. "And why do you wear that mask? Aren't you pleased with the strong appearance that Lord Rezo granted you?"   
  
"Strong... appearance?" Zelgadis turned back to regard the girl in surprise. She once again put her hand up to his face and this time he let her. She caressed his face and he closed his eyes. It had been so long since he'd been touched... and certainly never by such a beautiful girl.  
  
"Strong indeed. How glorious."  
  
Zelgadis inhaled sharply as she pressed herself up against him. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Lord Zelgadis."  
  
"Who... who are...?" He looked down at her and she smiled up at him. Her smile warmed his heart, while the feel of her body against his drove most of the thoughts from his head.  
  
She bowed her head shyly. "I am Eris."  
  
"E... E... ahhhh..."  
  
***  
  
"Hello Eris." Zelgadis said grimly.  
  
"Ah, he speaks," she mocked him gently. "You always were the strong, silent type."  
  
"Must you keep that up?" He demanded. "I know you don't really mean it."  
  
"But I do mean it, I just don't mean it the way you wanted it to mean." Eris said quietly.  
  
"I'm aware of that." Zelgadis replied, equally quietly.   
  
"Poor Zelgadis, you fell in love with me so quickly." Eris lent against him and he finally turned his head to regard her as she rested hers on his shoulder.  
  
"I'd never met a girl who didn't turn from me in fear and horror before," Zelgadis stated. "And your touchy-feely routine wasn't designed to make me think seriously about what you were saying."  
  
"Well... you were kind of impressive." Eris replied.  
  
"Impressive. Huh."  
  
***  
  
Zelgadis held the girl in his arms and for the first time in years thoughts of hatred and revenge were driven from his mind. Along with most other coherent thought.  
  
"Yes. I see that the spell was a complete success. You must be pleased with the results." Eris continued her perusal of his form. "Ah yes... one third stone golem, one third mazoku, and one third remaining human." She nuzzled against his chest. "Truly amazing the way your body has adjusted so well. I can tell that the blood of the great Lord Rezo flows through _your_ veins. And with your transformation, you are almost worthy to call yourself his kin."  
  
"What?" Zelgadis opened his eyes and pushed away from the girl. "What are you talking about?"  
  
She looked up at him. "Isn't it obvious? You're one of the most powerful pieces of work that Lord Rezo has ever completed!"  
  
"'Pieces of work'??" Zelgadis stared at her. "I am a human being! Or was, and now... thanks to HIM... I'm a monster!"  
  
"Now thanks to him you are _powerful_," Eris said. "Aren't you grateful?"  
  
"GRATEFUL???!!!" Zelgadis nearly shrieked. "I'm supposed to be grateful?! Get AWAY from me!" He shoved the girl away and stalked off.  
  
But his mind was haunted by the memory of her features, and his body was haunted by the memory of her body pressed against his.  
  
***  
  
"Did you ever really get over me?" Eris teased.  
  
"Eventually. After I saw you fawning over HIM."  
  
"I did NOT fawn!" Eris shrieked indignantly.  
  
"You did too!" Zelgadis glared at the girl leaning against him. "It was disgusting to watch."  
  
"But you watched anyway, didn't you?" Eris fluttered her eyelashes at him.  
  
Zel sighed. "Why are you bringing this up now? I thought you'd forgotten all about that? You certainly didn't seem to remember it the _last_ time we met."  
  
"I was angry with you then," Eris said, shrugging. "You'd betrayed Lord Rezo and helped kill him. But I was willing to let you go. I was more interested in getting Lina Inverse and Gourry Gabriev. If you hadn't turned up, we would have let you be."  
  
"Hmph," Zelgadis grumped. "I would have preferred it if you'd hunted me down. Don't think that just because it was Lina who cast the giga-slave that she was wholly responsible for his death. I took part. And I enjoyed it."  
  
"Did you?" Eris looked at him sadly. "Did you really?"  
  
Zelgadis looked away, remembering the beautiful young girl who'd always been at the side of his most hated nemesis. Now that he'd travelled so long and so far he realised that Eris was not as beautiful as he'd thought. But her love for HIM had made her lovelier than any of the most beautiful women he'd ever encountered. Her love made her glow.  
  
"I... I don't know. I had to defeat him." Zelgadis looked away. "I had to."  
  
"You had to," Eris acknowledged. "Lord Rezo would not have wanted the world he so longed to see be destroyed because of him."  
  
"And then afterwards..." Zelgadis paused. "Hmph. Maybe Kopii was right and we are more alike than I thought. I couldn't see what came after defeating HIM either."  
  
"And now?" Eris nudged.  
  
"Now?" Zelgadis shrugged. "I'm content enough I suppose. Lina and the others keep me busy, and there's always my search for my cure."  
  
"And after you get a cure, then what?"  
  
Zelgadis paused, then shrugged again. "Don't know. Find somewhere to live I guess."  
  
Eris laughed at him. "You have absolutely no idea do you?"  
  
"So what? I've got my whole future ahead of me!" Zelgadis said defensively.  
  
"And how much of it are you going to waste searching for a cure?" Eris demanded. "You're always so short-sighted!"  
  
"Damn it! I have to find a cure! Only then will I truly be free of HIM!"  
  
Eris sighed. "Say it."  
  
Zel was confused. "Say what?"  
  
"Say it," Eris repeated. "Say his name."  
  
"Why?" Zelgadis was instantly suspicious. "No. I don't want to talk to HIM."  
  
"Well you're going to have to," Eris said. "Say it."  
  
"No! I won't!"  
  
"AAArgh!!! You are so stubborn!" Eris thumped his shoulder with her fist and stood up. "I have to go now." Her face softened. "Zel, for what it's worth, I _did_ like you. You were..."  
  
"If you say 'a nice guy' I'm going to go and break your gravestone!" Zel threatened.  
  
Eris sighed. "A heartless mystical swordsman."  
  
"That's better." Zel said, appeased. The two people stared at each other and then smiled briefly.  
  
"I miss you sometimes," Zel admitted. "I did like you Eris."  
  
"I miss you too sometimes," Eris admitted. "I think we could have been friends, if there hadn't been all that other stuff."  
  
"_Did_ you have anything to do with the planning and design of this body?" Zel asked.  
  
Eris grinned. "It's taken you nearly eleven years to ask that question, you know. No, I did not. The magic involved in such a tricky transformation was far beyond my talents."  
  
Zelgadis regarded her for a moment. "Okay."  
  
"Okay?" Eris smiled softly. "Yeah, okay. Zelgadis?"  
  
"Hmmm...?"  
  
"Take care of yourself. You really do have a great body you know," she winked. "And I'm not just talking about its magical makeup."  
  
Zelgadis blushed crimson as she turned and walked away.  
  
"She always could throw you off-guard."  
  
Zelgadis froze and stood to walk away.  
  
"Don't. Don't go. Please. We need to talk."  
  
"I've got nothing to say to YOU," Zelgadis hissed. "Nothing at all!"  
  
"But you do. And I have things to say to you. Isn't it time we finally cleared the air between us, Zelgadis?"  
  
Zelgadis turned to regard the shade who now stood behind him. "There's only one way to clear up our problems!"  
  
Rezo sighed. "And I am already dead."  



	3. Laying the Dead Part Three

Laying the Dead  
by Jaelle  
***  
  
A Slayers Fanfic  
  
***  
  
The characters herein are not mine, do not belong to me and I am making no money whatsoever off of this. No infringement on copyright is intended by this fanfic. Kay?  
  
***  
  
PART THREE:  
  
***  
  
Zelgadis brewed some tea as he tried to ignore the shade who had come to speak to him last. "Well, my day has just gone from bad to unspeakable."  
  
The shade of Rezo, the Red Priest, regarded him with eyes that remained closed even in death. "Zelgadis..." He sighed.  
  
"Don't talk to me!" Zelgadis rounded on him. "I don't want to see OR speak to you ever again!"  
  
"I know that," Rezo said. "But there are things that we MUST discuss."  
  
"I don't HAVE to discuss ANYTHING with you anymore," Zelgadis said bitterly. "You're dead, and I all I have to remember you by is this monstrous body you cursed me with. And once I have cured that, then I'll never have to think of you again!"  
  
"Zelgadis..."  
  
"So if you came here wanting forgiveness or to apologise or anything then it's too damn late!" Zelgadis shouted at the priest. "The only thing you could possibly have to tell me that I would want to hear is the way to reverse the chimera spell you cast on me!"  
  
Rezo observed Zelgadis for a moment.  
  
For a brief second, Zelgadis felt a flare of hope in his heart. "Is that... why you're here?"  
  
Rezo sighed, and shook his head.  
  
Zelgadis' face fell. "You can't mean that. There must be a way! You were the great priest, you could do anything!"  
  
"Yes I could," said Rezo sadly. "Heal the sick, cure the blind, raise demons from the netherhells, banish ghosts, destroy evil, kill anyone who dared oppose me... and transform my only remaining heir into a chimera, permanently."  
  
"That's... no... it can't be." Zelgadis blinked as tears formed in his eyes for the first time in years. "I don't believe you! I WON'T believe you!"  
  
"Believe what you wish, but I have never lied to you Zelgadis, and I have no intention of starting now." Rezo sat down. "Therefore: to the best of my knowledge, your transformation into this form is permanent. There is no going back. It may be that there is some power on this world which CAN turn you back, but if there is, I do not know of it. And Zelgadis, I know so many things..."  
  
Zelgadis sat down. "The Clair Bible..." he said weakly.  
  
"Does not contain what you seek," Rezo said. "Zelgadis. This was no mere transfiguration spell. It was not simply a cosmetic effect. You were transformed right down to the very core of your genetic structure. That is why you heal to the same form you are in now."  
  
"Well, if it can't be undone can it be re-done?" Zelgadis demanded. "Why can't I use the same spells you used to alter me, to alter me to being a human?"  
  
"You could..." Rezo admitted. "But setting up the spells I used on YOU took me most of YOUR life - nearly fourteen years! Additionally, it takes a toll on the body. You might succeed, but the process would probably kill you, at best."  
  
"And at worst?" Zelgadis demanded.  
  
"You would wind up even worse than you are now," Rezo said. "A true monster."  
  
Zelgadis turned away, freezing the shade out.  
  
Rezo sighed. "And the final reason that I doubt you can reverse the process is that... the _original_ process was a failure."  
  
"What?" Zelgadis turned around. "A failure? What are you talking about?"  
  
Rezo looked at him. "Think for a moment Zelgadis. Do you REALLY think I would have transformed you into a creature who hated me? I wanted a strong and loyal servant. Instead I got..."  
  
"You got what you deserved." Zelgadis interrupted. "So how did you mess this up? My appearance?"  
  
"No. You were supposed to look this way." Rezo admitted. "I'm actually still not entirely sure what went wrong. The entire transformation was an incredibly complex and delicate process. Remember, despite the physical changes you retained your original memories and most of your mental processes. That required keeping the structure of your brain more or less intact whilst still integrating the mazoku and golem material. Afterwards, you still thought like a human, but you became both more aggressive and more intelligent after your transformation."  
  
"I became those things because YOU trained me to be that way," Zelgadis accused.   
  
"I merely enhanced what had already developed." Rezo sighed. "And as for your depressive streak - that was TOTALLY unexpected. I thought that your mazoku side would be so pleased by the extra power you had gained that you wouldn't mind the transformation. Perhaps I erred in allowing you to retain so much of your human side. But if I'd changed that, you would have been a monster in truth. As it is, you retained the ability to reason, in fact that side of you wound up being strengthened by the whole process, which was a complete surprise to me."   
  
"A surprise?" Zelgadis stared at him.  
  
Rezo nodded. "Yes Zelgadis, a surprise. I'd expected you to develop a sense of, well, sneakiness. Instead, your whole way of thinking did not change, it became enhanced. Your grasp of logic and mathematical problems became extremely strong."  
  
He paused. "And that is why I don't think you can ever change back - because this was NOT what I intended when I changed you. I _expected_ an aggressive, intelligent mage who would be invulnerable to most physical attacks and who would be loyal to me. I _got_ a resentful, depressed, angry teenager with stone-skin, enhanced magical powers, an engineers brain, no sense of humour, and a stubborn streak the size of Sairaag!" Rezo ran down.  
  
"I didn't ask you to do this to me!" Zelgadis exploded.  
  
"No, but your acceptance of my offer to become stronger opened the gate and allowed me to do it." Rezo said. "Some would consider that a lesson learned."  
  
"I hated you for it," Zelgadis said.  
  
"I know you did."   
  
There was a long pause. Zelgadis regarded his hands, and finally asked a question that had been bothering him for nine years.  
  
"Lina told me that _you_ helped her defeat Shaburanigdo." he said slowly. "She said that she thought that Shaburanigdo had taken you over, and that the person who transformed me wasn't _you_, but _him_."  
  
"Ah. And what do YOU believe?" asked Rezo calmly.  
  
"I... I don't know." Zelgadis looked at his hands. "I've hated you for so long." he whispered. "And then you died, and I thought that it would go away, but it didn't. And then I met Kopii-Rezo, and I hated him too. And even after HE was dead I still... I tried to forget you, tried to blot you out of my mind."  
  
He looked up. "But I couldn't. Because every time I looked in a mirror, every time I drank from a stream... every time a child ran away from me in fear I thought of YOU!!! And how YOU did this to me!!"  
  
He stood up. "How could you do this to me??!! I was your grandson, your great grandson... You were all the family I had left! The only one I had left to love. And I did love you, I did!"  
  
Tears were pouring down Zelgadis' face.   
  
Rezo was unmoved. "In the end, it was still your choice." he said softly. "You were the one who wanted to be strong."   
  
Zelgadis froze as the memories flowed over him again. "Yes, yes I did. And do you know why?"  
  
He stepped forward and confronted Rezo. Shouting into his face he screamed. "I did it for YOU! I did it so that I could travel with Rezo, the Red Priest! The Great Healer! MY GRANDFATHER!!! I wanted to be with you, to protect you! I deliberately studied shamanism instead of black magic so that I wouldn't disgrace you with evil magic... AND THEN YOU TURNED ME INTO A CHIMERA!!! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THAT DID TO ME??? I TRUSTED YOU!!!!"  
  
He let Rezo go. "I loved you." he said brokenly. "When you asked me if I wanted to be strong, I thought you were going to offer me a chance to join you in your travels, to learn. And then..." he stared at his hands again. Then he turned away.  
  
"And now I'm a monster," he said thickly.  
  
Silence fell.  
  
Rezo bowed his head. "I didn't know." he whispered.  
  
"You didn't care," Zel corrected.  
  
"No, no, you're right, I didn't care. You were a useful tool, that was all."  
  
Another pause. Zelgadis looked at Rezo. "You know so much about the human heart. How could you have failed to understand me so badly?"  
  
"Well, we were never really that close."  
  
"No, there was the small factor of you ruining my life!"  
  
"Not to mention the factor of YOU trying to kill me!"  
  
"BECAUSE you ruined my life!"  
  
"But you killed me!"  
  
"Yes I did. I helped kill you. And believe me - if it had been me and not Lina who had known the giga-slave I would have blown you away well before then."  
  
Both men glared at each other. Finally Zelgadis grumbled and picked up his tea, sipping at it. Rezo relaxed.  
  
"Speaking of Lina Inverse, how is she doing?"  
  
"Oh, much the same as ever. She's still wandering around, getting into trouble and leaving chaos and destruction in her wake."  
  
Rezo smiled briefly. "Admit it, you enjoy it sometimes."  
  
"Yeah well..." Zelgadis grinned. "Sometimes it's not so bad. At least she and the others don't mind my appearance."  
  
"I'm glad you have some friends again," Rezo said. "Are you meeting up with Lina and the others later?"  
  
"No, why?" Zelgadis felt the beginnings of suspicion forming. "Why so interested?"  
  
"Oh well, you know, I may be dead but that doesn't mean I don't want to see the Greywers line continue."  
  
Zelgadis spat out his tea.  
  
"Lina is certainly powerful enough..." Rezo mused. "And it's about time you settled down and started having children..."  
  
"AGH!!!" Zel choked. "You have GOT to be kidding me!"  
  
"No? How about that little Princess then? She's got a crush on you you know."  
  
"I am NOT discussing my love-life with you!" Zel spluttered. "Of all the people..." He wiped his chin.  
  
"You should talk it over with SOMEBODY though," Rezo said in a concerned tone of voice. "There's no reason for you to hold back. You're perfectly capable of functioning in that manner."  
  
"I'm AWARE of that!"  
  
"So then you've..."  
  
Zel blushed. "I've done a little experimenting, yes..."  
  
Rezo smiled. "Thank goodness, I'd been worried about your apparent lack of sex drive."  
  
Zel spat out the mouthful of tea he'd just taken. At this rate he was going to finish off the cup without actually _drinking_ any of it. "Do you mind? Sheesh."  
  
"Zelgadis, I do have certain common human desires," said Rezo. "I want to have great grandchildren." He paused. "And, I suppose, great great grandchildren."  
  
"Please, don't remind me," said Zel.  
  
Rezo raised an eyebrow. "I take it you've never explained that particular little... er... family hiccup to your friends."  
  
Zel snorted. "The fact that you're both my grandfather AND my great grandfather? Are you kidding? It's way WAY too embarrassing. I don't even want to think about it."  
  
"Very well." said Rezo.  
  
There was a pause.  
  
"How could you not recognise her?!" Zel suddenly burst out. "I can't believe that the wise and all-knowing Rezo the Red Priest couldn't recognise his own..."  
  
"It was dark!!" Rezo protested.  
  
"You're BLIND! It's ALWAYS dark!!!"  
  
"Zelgadis, it was a long time ago, it was one time, it was an ACCIDENT!!!" Rezo said in exasperation. "SHE never held it against me, why do you?"  
  
Zel grumbled under his breath.  
  
"Even your father got over it, eventually..."  
  
"Just shut up about it, alright?" Zel fumed.  
  
"You're the one who brought it up," said Rezo mildly.  
  
"Anyway, it doesn't matter anymore. I have no family now. You were the only family I had left! Now, there's just me." Zel smiled bitterly.   
  
"You turned out alright," shrugged Rezo. "A bit selfish, but I suppose that runs in the family."  
  
"Oh for..." Zelgadis turned away. Rezo regarded him for a little while and then cleared his throat. "I wasn't going to bring this up, but perhaps it would make you happier to know that you're not _entirely_ without relatives."  
  
"What?" Zelgadis was shocked. "You mean you had OTHER..."  
  
"No no no," Rezo waved his hand. "Not me... but Zelgadis, when I performed the spell to transform you into a chimera, didn't you ever wonder where I got the, er, materials?"  
  
"Materials?" Zel had an impending sense of doom.  
  
"To create chimeras, one requires genetic material," Rezo said. "You already had the human material, and the golem materials were easy enough to procure, as I had already been experimenting with them for some time."  
  
Zelgadis remembered the golem warriors he and the others had run into in Rezo's laboratory.  
  
"But the mazoku material was much harder to obtain," Rezo sighed. "I didn't want any old low-level mazoku. No, no, nothing but the best for my grandson/great grandson. So I went to some trouble to obtain genetic material from a very powerful mazoku."  
  
"No... you didn't..." Zel paled. "Tell me it isn't true. It CAN'T be true!!! I don't want to hear this."   
  
Rezo paused. "Very well then, I suppose the origins of the genetic material shall remain..." he put his finger to his lips. "A secret!"  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Zelgadis howled. "Oh yuck! Why? Why did it have to be HIM???!!! WHY????!!! WHY????!!!!"  
  
Rezo let him rant for a little longer and then shrugged. "He was powerful, and willing to be involved in the transformation of a human. I think he was interested in seeing what the result of the combination would be."  
  
"All this time!" Zelgadis ranted. "Does he KNOW?"  
  
"Probably," said Rezo. "Which is why I suggest that you might want to take certain precautions."  
  
"Precautions?" Zel felt a shiver of fear run down his spine. "Against what?"  
  
Rezo looked at him. "Recall how I was able to change you and control you so easily - part of that was because of the blood we share. And now you know that you share blood with Xelloss - that gives him a strong hold over you."  
  
Zel scowled. "But doesn't that work the other way as well."  
  
"Xelloss probably HAS taken precautions," Rezo pointed out. "And your magic doesn't lean in that direction."  
  
Silence reigned once more.  
  
"So... that's it then. I should just give up my search? It was all just a huge fricking waste of time?" Zel snapped.  
  
"I wouldn't say THAT. You gained a great deal of knowledge, and no knowledge is ever truly wasted."  
  
"Grrr..." Zelgadis stared at the stars, at the trees, at anything other than the man sitting across from him. "So there's _nothing_ I can do?"  
  
"Nothing that I can think of."  
  
"I should just try and make the best of it?!"  
  
"Looks that way," Rezo said.  
  
"AAAAHHHHH!!! You drive me CRAZY! I can't believe this. This was a complete waste of time, I don't even know why you all bothered to come here and talk to me," Zel shouted.  
  
"Don't you? Don't you really?" Rezo asked.  
  
"Can't you even guess Master Zelgadis?" Zolf and Rodimus faded in.  
  
"Do you really not know?" Kopii-Rezo.  
  
"Oh Zel.. how can you not know?" Asked Eris.  
  
"I _don't_," Zel emphasised. "I just... why are you all HERE?"  
  
"For you... because we like you," said Zolf and Rodimus, reappearing.  
  
"To let you know we care," said Eris and Kopii, also materialising.  
  
"To try and help you, try and repair some of the damage we... I have caused." Rezo added. "Zelgadis, you HAVE to try and move on past us."  
  
"I have!" He shouted.   
  
"No, you haven't. You're still... by Ceipheed you're so damned stubborn and thick!" Rezo shouted. "It's pretty obvious that you're MY relation. You have yet to move past WHAT you are... it's time to think about WHO you are. Curse it, will you please GET OVER IT!"  
  
"I don't have to if I don't want to!" Zelgadis shouted back. "You can't make me!"  
  
"Zelgadis, my grandson, will you just let it go!"  
  
"I will do as I please grandfather!"  
  
There was a long silence.   
  
"Was it so hard to say?" Rezo asked finally.  
  
"It's always been hard to say things to you," Zelgadis replied.  
  
"I do care you know."  
  
"You never used to."  
  
"Well, I do now. Better late than never?"  
  
"You're impossible," Zelgadis muttered.  
  
"I know. Zelga... Zel. Please. Let it go. You've already put so much behind you. Losing Zolf and Rodimus. The deaths of Kopii and Eris. My own. Let it go, let us rest."  
  
"It was easy to put your death behind me. It was your life I had troubles with." Zelgadis replied. "You left me alone!"  
  
"You're not alone now, you have friends. Friends who don't care about your appearance. They care about you. Please Zel..."  
  
"Remember the good times," said Zolf and Rodimus, and disappeared.  
  
"But don't get bogged down in the past," Kopii added and vanished.  
  
"Take pride in your strength. Try to look at the good side of things," said Eris, and faded away.  
  
"And remember, that somewhere, we _did_ care." Rezo said. "Honestly."  
  
Zelgadis turned away. "So, you're leaving now?"  
  
"Our task here is complete. Our time in the sun has passed. Zelgadis..."  
  
"I'll take care of myself," he muttered. "And... I'll think about what you said."  
  
Rezo smiled at him. "You don't give an inch do you?"  
  
"Unyielding, that's me," Zel replied. "I inherited it from my grandfather."  
  
Rezo sighed. "Take care of yourself Zelgadis. You may have not been what I expected, but you were an unqualified success. Goodbye."  
  
Zel turned to face him. "Goodbye."  
  
Rezo vanished, and Zelgadis closed his eyes as the dawn broke over the horizon.  
  
"And farewell." He whispered.  
  
***  
  
The End  
  
***  



End file.
